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My Article on FamilyShare: Why Pornography is Adultery

Why pornography is adultery
It has become so commonplace that pornography equated to adultery is thought by many to be a gray area. But is it really?

By Susan Knight

24,423 views   |   148 shares 

 

The modern world has been numbed by the constant bombardment of immorality via media to the point that considering pornography to be adultery has become a gray area. Even those whose moral compass is derived from Judeo-Christian values question this concept. But is the idea really so vague? Do we know what adultery really is?

Adultery is witnessed on television shows and movies and read about in countless tabloids, magazines and novels. It has become so commonplace as to not be recognized as immoral anymore. Many don't realize adultery is still illegal in twenty-three states. In ancient times, it was a capital offense. Now we watch it every night on TV.

One only has to open the pages of the Holy Bible, a common dictionary or log onto any Wiki to find the definition of adultery. The contemporary world views it as voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than the lawful spouse (Merriam-Webster). From the Bible's perspective, if one is married and looks at, thinks about, or touches another person with lust (sexual desire) in their heart or mind, it is considered adultery. By this standard, lust is also adultery.

Oxforddictionaries.com states pornography is written or visual material containing explicit descriptions of sexual organs or activity intended to stimulate erotic (raw, sexual desire) rather than aesthetic (beautiful, pleasing) feelings. By this definition, pornography is lust.

Pornography is lust (sexual desire), and lust is adultery. Therefore, pornography is adultery.

·        Adultery is not just sexual intercourse

Adultery is not restricted to sexual intercourse between married people. In addition to lust of the flesh, "lust of the eyes" is also considered adultery 1 John 2:16, KJV.

In the Sermon on the Mount, the Savior pointed out higher laws. Not only is it unlawful to kill, but anyone who is angry is in danger of judgment Matthew 5:22, KJV. It is well-known anger can lead to murder. Thus, anger is a higher law—a higher commandment to keep.

One of the most powerful scriptures about adultery comes from our Savior, again from the Sermon on the Mount:

"Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Matthew 5:27-28 KJV

These verses in Matthew clearly state looking on a woman with lust is adultery. Adultery is against the law, and lust is the higher law.

·        Adultery without sexual intercourse

In the Bible, adultery without sexual intercourse is referred to as "wanton eyes" Isaiah 3:16, KJV, or "eyes full of adultery" (See 2 Peter 2:14, KJV). These scriptures state plainly adultery is not only a sin of the flesh, but of indecent images seen by the eyes.

It is not coincidental that pornography is taken into the brain through the eyes. Since lust is defined as being consumed with sexual desire, pornographic craving to view woman after woman in obscene sex acts (read: multiple partners) is clearly adultery. Any spouse who is the victim of their partner's pornography addiction will equivocally agree pornography is cheating. Why not call cheating what it really is? Adultery.

·        Social media and adultery

Another way adultery is committed is via social media. Provocative words in a text, an email, or a chat room cause sexual arousal. This is pornographic, which is then adultery.

Men and women, who participate in social media porn, are, by definition, adulterers. Call it what it is.

·        Women and pornography

Women view internet pornography as well as men. In fact, one in three viewers of porn is a woman, and that statistic is rising.

Many women are addicted to "erotica," or what the world calls "romance novels." These books are explicit with titillating, immoral sex acts. Erotica is a synonym for pornography, and pornography is adultery.

·        Pornography statistics

Half of all divorces in the U.S. stem from pornography addiction. (See mind-armor.comor TechAddiction)

·        Seven out of ten males view internet porn in the U.S. (that's 70%)

·        2.5 billion emails per day are pornographic (that's 8% of all emails).

·        There are 116,000 searches for "child pornography" every day. Every day!

·        Age eleven is the average age when a child first sees porn online.

·        Utah has the nation's highest online porn subscription use at 5.47 per thousand.

·        Pornography addiction

In porn addiction, the viewing becomes an obsession, then a compulsion. The images must become ever more stimulating, atrocious and shocking to have the now-addicted appetite sated, just as a drug addict needs one more hit of crack; a smoker must have one more cigarette; a gambler needs one more roll of the dice.

·        Thou shalt not commit adultery

Modern-day streaming of pornography on the internet through computers, iPads, and smartphones has multiplied its use exponentially. The stigma of "adulterer" seems to no longer be a reason to stay away from the poison of porn. But beware—addiction may quickly capture one's soul with just one peak, turn of the page, or swipe of a finger on a smartphone.

It is argued here with semantics, statistics, and religious standards that pornography is lust and lust is adultery. Some may still dispute the classification, but perhaps others will experience an ah-ha moment and move past the gray question.

What do you think?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder--8 Tactics Used by Narcissists

This was my life. . .

Eight Mental Abuse Tactics Narcissists Use on Spouses

By Christine Hammond
~ 2 min read

 

 

If you have clients who are intentionally exploited by their spouses; endure regular insults and rejection, alternating with affirmation; and feel manipulated into doing or saying something out of character, then they might be experiencing abuse.
Abuse is not just physical. There are many other forms of abuse, such as sexual, financial, emotional, mental, and verbal. While some of the other forms of abuse are obvious, mental abuse by a narcissist can be difficult to spot.

It starts simply with a casual comment about anything: color of the wall, dishes in the sink, or the car needing maintenance. The remark is taken out of context by the narcissist to mean that their spouse disapproves of them in some way. She tries to explain that wasn’t her intention, but they are off on a tirade, which ends in your client feeling like she is losing her mind.
How did this happen? Here are several favorite narcissistic mental abuse tactics:

1. Rage – This is an intense, furious anger that comes out of nowhere, usually over nothing (remember the wire hanger scene from the movie “Mommie Dearest”). It startles and shocks the victim into compliance or silence.
2. Gaslighting – Narcissistic mental abusers lie about the past, making their victim doubt her memory, perception, and sanity. They claim and give evidence of her past wrong behavior further causing doubt. She might even begin to question what she said a minute ago.
3. The Stare – This is an intense stare with no feeling behind it. It is designed to scare a victim into submission, and is frequently mixed with the silent treatment.
4. Silent Treatment – Narcissists punish by ignoring. Then they lets their victim “off the hook” by demanding an apology even though she isn’t to blame. This is to modify her behavior. They also have a history of cutting others out of their life permanently over small things.
5. Projection – They dump their issues onto their victim as if she were the one doing it. For instance, narcissistic mental abusers may accuse their spouse of lying when they have lied. Or they make her feel guilty when he is really guilty. This creates confusion.
6. Twisting – When narcissistic spouses are confronted, they will twist it around to blame their victims for their actions. They will not accept responsibility for their behavior and insist that their victim apologize to them.
7. Manipulation – A favorite manipulation tactic is for the narcissist to make their spouse fear the worst, such as abandonment, infidelity, or rejection. Then they refute it and ask her for something she normally would reply with “No.” This is a control tactic to get her to agree to do something she wouldn’t.
8. Victim Card – When all else fails, the narcissist resorts to playing the victim card. This is designed to gain sympathy and further control behavior.

From:
https://pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman/2015/04/eight-mental-abuse-tactics-narcissists-use-on-spouses/#.VUoYrw1khaH.facebook

Pornography = Rape Simulation

archaic update needed

After writing about the etymology of the word pornography, another thought came to mind, especially after reading one of the comments on my article, "The 5 Stages of a Pornography Addiction," which was picked up by PornHarms (read about it HERE) from FamilyShare.com.

One woman commented on the article that she was a victim of rape and abuse and felt that watching porn was like watching a rape simulation. Ugh! Seriously, her comment really ripped my heart out. But she also gave me one of those ah-ha moments. *

I thought, the word is an archaic Greek word. What if we changed the name of the word pornography to what it is--RapeSimulation. Would that make people wake up? Would that take the ease and comfort away that it's not really that bad, or that everyone does it?

Conversation that might ensue:
Person 1: "Yeah, so I was on this RapeSimulation site the other day . . ."
Person 2: "Wait a minute, you mean, you're into Rape?"
Person 1: "It's not that bad. I mean, it's not like I'm addicted to Rape. I can stop watching it any time I want."
Person 3: "I watch RapeSimulation with my husband and we feel it strengthens our sex life."
Person 2 :"You mean, you watch RapeSimulation?"
Person 3: "Get with the times. Everyone watches Rape."
Person 1: "Don't be one of 'those people' who judges us because we watch Rape. I'm sure you've watched it, too, at some point."
Person 2: "Uh. . . not. . .really. . ."
Person 3: "You should watch it some time. You'll learn a lot."
Person 2: "About . . . rape?"
Person 1: "You're so judgmental."
Person 2: "?!"

I apologize to rape victims for my seeming flippant dialogue. I apologize to porn victims, too. I was just trying to get my point across.

Did I?

My heart goes out to that courageous woman who lived through the rape to tell us about it and remind us what a heinous crime it is and from where it comes--porn addiction. And I have so much love for women, like me, who were victims of the porn addiction of their husbands.

What's your story?


* the woman spoken of has deleted her comment. I don't blame her.

Etymology of the word "Pornography"

etymology

Ever since I read the comments on my article "The 5 Stages of a Pornography Addiction" which was picked up by PornHarms, I started thinking, what is the etymology of the word?

So I looked it up and did some research.

Pornography is from a Greek word, "pornographos" which literally translates to "writing of prostitutes or harlots." By the 1800s it came to mean "salacious writing or pictures."

Other Greek variations:

pornaos/pornos = to sell off, to traffic, i.e. selling of sexual purity

porneia = harlotry (including adultery and incest)

porneuo = to act the harlot, or indulge in an unlawful lustful act, i.e. fornication

A very well-written website sponsored by the United Church of God  gives a wonderful overview of the etymology of the word, the act, and the consequences of pornography. 

Here are some excerpts:

-Research clearly demonstrates a direct link between pornography and bizarre antisocial behavior (sexual aberration, sexual violence, pedophilia [sexual abuse of children]). 

-FBI investigations, plus records of many law enforcement agencies, testify that pornographic materials are ‘found data’ (i.e. involved) in large numbers of ‘lust murders,’ autoerotic fatalities, mutilations, rapes, and ravages of women and children.”

-For pornography to be harmless, the people who are depicted in its images would have to be unreal….However, the women violated in pornography are human beings. Beyond the glossy pages, the naked and used women are real . . . Pornography makes women chattel, and all women have reason to fear that the attitudes of the men with whom they live and work are transformed by the images of pornography.  

-The addictive nature of pornography creates a self-perpetuating cycle, magnified by the fact that exposure to pornography lessens repulsion to pornography and desensitizes its consumers of its harms.