I Will Get Through This

I just read this post today:
Suffering is required for exaltation.
From Romans 8:16-18:

"The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: and if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

I get a Scripture-a-Day sent to my email. Sometimes it gives me light. Sometimes it makes me think.

I know what this says is true, but this message came at a difficult time right now. I just found out my ex was in my own hometown visiting with my kids. They didn't tell me.

I wouldn't have told me either. 

When I saw their pictures posted on Facebook, my PTSD kicked in big time. I woke my daughter up from a sound sleep asking if he was still here. She was visibly annoyed. Seeing my wide and wild-eyed expression, she must have thought I was crazy. (Maybe I am, a little.)

I'm mostly damaged.

I spent last night, late, searching through my bathroom trying to find the Prozac. Yes, I felt that frantic. I finally found it, but the expiration date was from 2010. That was the last time I used it. That was when I left him.

This scripture reminds me that life is a journey, sometimes perilous in our minds on our own level of understanding. I think of the phrase, "You'll have this."

Sometimes you need to be brave and do the courageous thing. Instead of climbing steps, you climb mountains with jagged rocks and cliffs. Brushburns occur haphazardly just by tripping a little and swiping the stones. You pick up little scrapes and bruises, but you venture on, knowing the journey has indescribable scenery with vibrant colors and fresh air. At the end of the journey there's extraordinary peace and abundant love--glory.

Sometimes it's like climbing a ladder. Don't look down. Keep looking up.

All things, even trials and distress, give you experience.

If suffering will give me greater glory, then I reckon I will have a dole full.

I will get through this.

I know you will, too.