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Thursday, September 19, 2013

Triple A Divorce (AAA)

Sometimes I feel like Julie Powell, the woman who started a blog with the challenge to cook all the recipes in Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking. She wondered, "Is anyone reading this?"

The Triple A divorce (Abuse, Adultery, Addiction) is a hard subject to both write about and read about. Some people have told me they couldn't read this. It's too much. Too many memories they want to put to rest.

To them I say, "Well done. You have been able to forge ahead and not look back. You have climbed up and over the top landing. You are my hero. I really wish you well."

There are some of us who haven't reached that step yet. Oh, to be on that step, where I can put these experiences to rest, like lowering a coffin into the pit and covering it with dirt.

When will that happen?  I'd love to know.

For those of you who have been through a Triple A divorce, how long did it finally take you? How have you found healing?

It would be interesting for someone still stepping to know. Someone like me.

Feel free to share here.


Amy Freeman said...

I think the biggest thing for me was finding myself. I began focusing on me, my goals, my dreams, my beliefs, and started really building on them- putting my energy into those things instead of the pain and betrayal. Once I began to resurface, his actions didn't matter so much. But it does take time. Don't give up. VALUE YOU! YOU are what matters. Not your ex's past actions.

Susan said...

Oh, Amy, you just don't know how much I appreciate your comments.
I have never seen myself as a quitter, so I will press on and try to find myself and not give up.
Someone asked me yesterday, "So are you healing?" I didn't know how to answer that. I guess I'm healing in some areas, but using the steps as a metaphor, I've fallen down one or two in the last month. I will be so happy when I can find the top, like you did, and not mis-step or fall back.
You are one of my heros. I value your presence on this blog.