I have been thinking recently, dabbling in my mind really, about what it would be like if I started dating again.
I think it would be a catastrophe.
I don't see red flags . . .
. . . even when they are waving right in my face.
I still have that perception that people are good.
I give the benefit of the doubt--like realizing they must be driving so slow because they have a goldfish bowl full of water on the front seat--instead of showing road rage.
How could all this niceness help me know what kind of man to date, if the man was sincere and genuine, and that I wouldn't fall into the narcissism trap again?
I mean, even when I had firmly decided to get divorced, my narcissistic (ex) husband tried to persuade me to stay married--status quo. He wanted me to live in the house with him and let him date and commit adultery at will. Seriously!?!
That was when the rose-colored glasses fell off for me. They smashed to smithereens. I didn't even know who he was.
It's because he wasn't the man I created in my mind. I made such a wonderful husband in my mind. I wouldn't let the dream die.
Trust me, though, it's way dead now.
My doubt is, I might create the same wonderfulness again. I'm very creative.
So whenever I have any thoughts of possibly dating again, I think of red flags--invisible red flags--waving in front of my face.
Alas, I don't see them.
